10 tips for guys who INSIST on wearing shorts this summer

by • April 24, 2013 • Entertain UsComments (13)2697

I’d rather men just didn’t wear shorts as it’s so rare they look good in them! Kind of like other girlish attire like tank tops and sandals, these are huge fashion risks for the less than sexy- average male.  Most of the time, you guys would be better off wearing summer pants than running around with stark white chicken legs covered in dark hair.. IF you feel that you can get away with wearing shorts in the first place than PLEASE follow this sound advice:

10 Fashion Faux Pas EVERY guy needs to know regarding shorts! 

1- Do not wear rolled up  jean shorts above the knees unless you are a homosexual prostitute

2- Do not wear jeans above the knee period, unless you are a GIRL.

3- Do not wear beige safari style cargo shorts, unless you are on a Safari! – Opt for army, grey, white…

4- Do not wear long Ocean Pacific style swimming trunks off of the beach unless you are a total douche bag

5- Do not even think of wearing business pant/shorts unless you want to get beat up on the way home from work

6- Do not wear boxers as shorts unless you are a drunk teenager on spring break

7-Do not try to edit your winter jeans into the trendy 3/4 unless you have fabric scissors

8- Do not wear the jogging pant jersey shorts unless you are playing an outdoor sport

9- Do not wear flashy satin and mesh basketball shorts unless you are a basketball player

10-Do not wear ANY shorts your mom bought you, unless she is a fashion designer
You’re welcome!

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13 Responses to 10 tips for guys who INSIST on wearing shorts this summer

  1. John Doe says:

    Whatever. Women–don’t wear cooter cutoffs. We can smell it a mile away.

  2. fabrizzo says:

    bloody hell,ive heard much misandry,but this never fails to crack me up!!men looking bad in shorts?lady,dont u know men were meant to wear shorts,NOT women?or has the world changed so much that u were born into an era which forgets that?tank top n sandals are unigender,how can anyone consider them girlish?is this some sort of feministic conspiracy,to label every comfortable n liberating(and inevitably revealing wear) as girlish,so that men will be intimidated from wearing them,eventually causing such stuff to fall out of the market for men’s cut n sizes n hence leading to men losing their rights to wear them?and when asked about why the inequality,fems would just say “the men brought it upon themselves”?

    Your 10 tips of complete MISANDRY:U CAN TAKE THEM BACK HOME AND STUFF THEM UP UR FUCKING ASS!!!Why dont u women STOP wearing hotpants in public n miniskirts n tanks in the offcie,u look like fucking prostitutes and bargirls u know that?

    • Foxylee says:

      If you read properly, you would have understood that the shorts that men should stop wearing are the girly above-the-knee type. I mean, go ahead and wear them, with a name like Fabrizzo, you are likely already committing worse fashion crimes than this 😉

  3. fabrizzo says:

    I was once against rape of women ‘just because’ theyre scantily clad,but after reading ur “10 tips”,I rather think u skanks deserve to be raped over n over till ur cunts are mutilated,and then blamed for being a skank infront of the judge,while the rapists are being acquitted n free of all charges!Seriously,nothing says douchebag more than a 10 tip nuthead of a feminazi.I think people like u need to be thrown into a cell choked full of serial rapists,feel whats its like to be sexually objectified,used n abused over n over,and then u can rethink what u have espoused here.

  4. fabrizzo says:

    Bikini girls on the beach needs to be stoned to death,to be consistent with the draconian standards u attempt to be setting on men.DONT let me see u on the streets less than 90% covered,or i might just pour petrol on u n set u on fire,turn u into a barbecued pig,cos thats what u are.

  5. David Peterson says:

    I’m sorry, I live in Massachusetts where it often can get into the 90’s. How the fuck do women seriously expect for me not to wear cargo shorts? What else am I supposed to wear?

    • Foxylee says:

      Hi David! Love Massachusetts 🙂 Cargo shorts are awesome, long surfer shorts, cut off jeans (below the knee) even the little business shorts r cool. We are just not a fan of tight spandex shorts, itsy bity jean shorts and a lot of weird shorts that seem to pop in and out of the fashion scene for dudes. The latest is a tight shorts/legging for men that pretty much looks like boxer briefs are being worn in public :0

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